воскресенье, 17 апреля 2011 г.

Approaching a girl with the guy.

While Tim has been opening 2 girls in the cinema, I noticed a couple moving from the counter and taking a seat. The guy from that couple sent indicators of interest to us, he smiled and gestured. When they sat down, he showed me a big finger, as he appreciated me. I smiled and showed him back the same, not looking at his girl. At this moment the girl who was between us, bowed her body (moving it to my visibility area so I could detect her) and said smth like:
Girl: "What?"
Me (at that moment first time looking at her): "Handsome guy!" [pointing to her friend]
Girl: "What? I didn't get it"
Me: "Your boyfriend is very handsome!"
Girl (embarassed): "He is not my bf, just a friend!"
Me (approaching her being calm, gentle and reserved): "Your English is really good! Where did you study it?"
Then there was some dialog which I don't remember. I'd like to point out that during speaking, especially in the beginning, I was talking directly to the guy, moving my focus only to him. This action made him feeling secure (like his girl is not my goal), as he just dropped out from the conversation (he didn't know English). Then Igor joined us with the question "What do u think, which style is better?" I had to focus on Igor and discuss the style topic, saying that Tim is a designer, he made some coursework in his university by choosing clothes to Igor & me, so could the girl tell us which style is better, as we are gathering opinions before Tim can give his work to his professor. Guy immediately said that he likes Igor's jacket, while the girl pointed on me. I felt that the atmosphere started being nervous, and said that we need to go and told the girl - how about exchanging e-mails so we can discuss that topic in future? She said she doesn't have a business card, so I told her to exchange the phone numbers and gave her my phone. At that moment her guy understood that smth is going wrong and started pushing my phone from her. Suddenly she grabbed my phone and started entering the digits, the guy put his head in his hands in a very poor gesture. She typed the digits and even called to her phone, to make sure she knows my number.
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What could be done better:
1. When taking her phone number, I said first about exchanging emails for discussing that topic. Bad! My old mistake, BUT: the guy was sitting near, I didn't want directly to ask her phone number, it would be too impudent, so would feel very uncomfortable about that (even he is not her bf).
2. When Igor joined us, he brought completely a new topic and I had to involve him and switch the current topic. I think it's not good, as when person outside approaches already opened set, he breaks already created dynamics and the person who opened the set and is already inside, has to introduce his friend, change the topic and start from the beginning. I remember, I did several mistakes like that, when I was telling smth to a girl which was opened by Tim and what I was telling was not good (I was outside and not connected). My suggestion is that person who opened girl/set stays there alone. His friend can join him, only if the leader says smth like: "Let me introduce my friend to you!" or anything else involving his friend by himself.

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